In Tandum

STILL PADDLING

Over the years, couples have often asked us, “What’s the secret to a long and happy marriage?” We never know quite how to answer. Typically, we just glance at each other for a beat or two before one of us shrugs and offers something vague. Truth is, giving specific advice about marriage—especially within earshot of your spouse—is awkward at best, and certainly risky business. If you don’t know why that is, well… you may already be in trouble. (Yes, I’m grinning as I write.)

But one beautiful day, I found a plausible answer! It came from an unexpected place and person: a kayak guide on a river in Hawaii.

DISCLAIMER: The advice you’re about to receive is important, but it won’t guarantee a long or happy marriage. There are few guarantees in life. This story is meant to entertain—take it with a paddleful of humor.

My wife and I always celebrate our anniversary, but not with traditional gifts. We were married on September 22nd in the Caribbean, and that's all I'm authorized to say. The photo that inspired this story was taken on a pre-pandemic anniversary trip to a stunning Pacific island—back when people could still leave their houses for fun.

The plan sounded simple: it was a kayak adventure up the Wailua River to a famous waterfall. Romantic, right? Neither of us had ever paddled a tandem kayak before, but how hard could it be? I chuckled to myself.

Well. Halfway upriver, most of the other couples had long disappeared around the bend. Who knew the falls were that far? The guide eventually came back to check on us and grinned when he found our kayak steadily and smoothly zigzagging up the river. We smiled back.

He called out, “A lot of married couples paddle in circles or fight each other’s efforts in a tandem kayak. Seriously—you wouldn’t believe the arguments I witness out here!”

Then, as he paddled closer, he added, “Over the years, I’ve learned a lot about marriages just by watching couples on this river. You can tell a lot by how they handle the kayak—and how they behave.”

He smiled again much broader. “You two? You cooperate!”

We laughed so hard we nearly capsized. (And we were already exhausted—from all that cooperation.)

Please ignore my attempted macho expression in the photo. My hair tells the real story. The return trip was easier, even though our arms felt like Jell-O. At the halfway point going to the falls—where this picture was taken—my wife could still lift her arm long enough to throw a tired but triumphant “Shaka Mahalo!”

And yes—cooperation may actually be the secret to a happy marriage. Or at least, it’s worth a try. (Wink wink.) A good dose of humor usually helps, too.

As for us? We’re still daily paddling together down the stream of life. . .Cooperating.

Copyright 2022, edited 2024, 2025 Gary Landerfelt, MyPericope.com